Letters Eternal
by Hidden Affection
Summary: Marissa went away on her job with her father. But, did she really understand what she was missing? Had she left Ryan behind, forever. This is set as Marissa still alive in a fourth season, as a relationship between Ryan and her start to blossom first 2 ch
1. Love

Ok, so I am still very much Marissa/Ryan orientated so I will continue to dedicate my time to their stories. This one is set about 6 months after Marissa left Newport Beach to work on the boat. Once again, I own nothing in the OC

Marissa let her eyes scan over the vast ocean landscape. Sea-gulls circled overhead, squawking like a bunch of lunatics. Yet, somehow it was soothing. The water lapped at the sides of the boat, splashing and foaming. God, it was so beautiful out here. No matter how long she sat there and stared out at her surroundings, she never saw another soul. But that's what she wanted, wasn't it? It was her choice to come out here to work with her father. And, it wasn't like she hadn't had any fun. But something was missing. 'Ryan', she whispered to herself. Though he had let her go, they both knew that they didn't really want to part. It wasn't the same as two years ago when he left for Chino. This time their relationship was both bounded by love and friendship. The two weren't together when she left, but might as well have been. No matter what managed to tear them apart, they always ended up back in each others arms. And right now, that's where she wanted to be, in his strong muscular arms where she fit in so well.

Wiping away a small tear, she looked down at her notepad and read over the letter again,

_Dear Ryan,_

_I am having a great time, thanks. Yes, the weather is great here. I have spent days on end just gazing upon it. The work is harder than I imagined it would be though. I suppose it is because I have never done any 'manual' labour before, as you said before I left. Dad has helped me a bit though, and the people are real nice. But it's not the same without you. I could just imagine you assisting my father, and then spending the night with me on the deck, staring up at the stars. You would love it; it's so clear and fresh. Remember when you were going to catch a boat to sail away from me? I feel pretty guilty, committing the exact same crime. But I shall return soon, hopefully. I never thought I would leave Newport, especially move away from you. But here I am. I wish you had come with me. Dad says that you would have been quite the 'skipper', whatever that means. I haven't really improved on my Boating Vocabulary, as you can tell._

_This one day, we stopped off at an island that was uninhabited. It wasn't even on a map. Anyway, I jumped off in my bikini without putting any sunscreen on. We were out all day. It was so beautiful; you should have seen the birds I saw. Mick, that's Dad's friend, swore he heard an elephant. When we got back on board, I went into the bathroom to find myself bright red! I was like a tomato, and, when I took my bikinis off, you could really see the difference. I almost cried it was so painful. Haha, could you imagine Seth if he was in my position? Anyway, I peeled so badly for almost a week after that. But I got an excellent tan, so I suppose it was worth it, in a way. _

_How's things back home? I hear you leave for college next week. That should be great for you, meeting new people and some possible love interests. I gather that Seth and Summer are still together so say hi to them from me. My mum writes to me, but has slacked off a bit due to Caitlin keeping her on her toes. God, I love that girl. She is so much like me when I was her age. In a few years she will be the same age as us when we met. Wow, that seems like a lifetime ago. But you know what? I still have exactly the same feelings for you. The time on this boat has made me realise how much I miss and need you. When I get back in a few months, please be there. I can't wait to see you._

_Love always,_

_Marissa._

She looked up again, smiling at the thought of him reading it along with her. Every word said in that letter was true. She yearned for his touch. And, as much as she hated to admit it, she couldn't wait to get back to start a new life. Go to college, patch things up with Ryan ect was her main concern. The time spent on the boat had made her realise just how much she truly loved him. Memories constantly flooded back of when they used to lay together in the pool-house for hours on end. When she was with him, she felt at home. Sure, Volcheck, Johnny, Luke and DJ were all special, but none as much as Ryan. They had a connection, nothing could keep them apart. After all, the one thing now was the ocean.

Folding the sweet scented piece of paper gently, she slid it into the envelope that lay beside her. It was a present from Summer when she left, so that she could 'send back some photo's of all the sexy islanders she met', much to Seth's distress. God, she loved those two. They were like comic relief when times got real hard. She wasn't friends with Seth in the start, but they had grown rather close over the last few years. He had been there for her when times got rough, though he often didn't like to admit it. Though she would never date him, Marissa felt a sense of belonging when by his side.

'Marissa', gleefully yelled the familiar voice from inside the cabin. Laughing as her dad leaped out in his now famous white captain's suite, she jumped up to join him in his antics. Though, she had just enough time to slip the letter into her dress pocket for safe keeping, though it would be taken out later and mailed to the one she needed, so far away.


	2. Is like a river

'Ryan, mail!', Kirsten called from the kitchen as she walked through the kitchen after work.

Ryan looked up from his book, suddenly exited. He had been expecting a letter from Marissa for weeks. He waited every day at three o'clock by the door, chin on his knees. Ok, he didn't like to admit that he was obsessed, but, everyone was starting to notice it. Even Sandy was commenting on it. 'Gee, Ryan, she's coming back', he would say. God, and as if Ryan didn't know that. Four months and twenty seven days, to be exact. Then she was all his, or, for at least a day or so.

He couldn't help but worry about what would tear them apart. All those who knew Ryan and Marissa also knew that they had the worst damn luck in the word. Marissa was an unbelievably beautiful girl that everyone lusted. Some more than others. That's, of course where the problems start. In fact, Ryan was one of them! Yet the two had a connection that went beyond mere physical attraction. They truly, deeply loved each other though didn't often want to admit it. After Ryan there was Oliver, then DJ, Johnny and Volcheck. Through it all, she remained loyal to her first true love, however. Feeling like that can never die.

Taking the smooth envelope from Kirsten, he instantly knew who it was from. The neat, curvatious endings on each letter could only belong to one angel. Three guesses who that was! Smiling to himself, Ryan dashed off into the pool-house to read it in his own company. It wasn't that it was to b a secret, but to him the relations between Marissa and himself were private. After all, he had never asked Seth about what happened between him and Summer, despite the fact that Seth told him anyway.

Ryan read it over once, twice, three times. If he could he would swim all the way over to the islands, take her in his arms and never let go. Yet, he lay there, on his back with tears practically pouring down his face. Ok, so there were none but that's the way he was feeling. Ryan had a way of bottling up his feeling. God, he could remember the last time he sat down and had a good cry. He was always there for Marissa, kissing hers away. But she wasn't here, and there was nothing worse. Ha, he caused most of her pain so she was probably better off.

Rolling over, he closed his eyes. He could see her face, innocently perfect. Her long, dark blonde hair swimming around her beautiful features. Exquisite eyes stared straight at him. Her lanky, slim body amidst his arms. How much he wanted her to be right there, with him. But alas, it wasn't going to happen. Slowly getting up, Ryan tried to kill his feelings unsuccessfully. Sitting down at his desk, the boy pulled out a sheet of paper and put a pen to it.

_Dear Marissa,_

_It's great to hear that you are having a good time. But, as for the work side of it I am sure you are going just fine. I would love to be there. But not to help your father, but to be with you, stars or no stars. I miss you so much, you have no idea. Countless times I have laid awake at night, thinking about you. I reckon I have remembered every moment we have spent together…and without. Seth and Summer are fighting at the moment, but it'll all blow over in a couple of hours and they'll end up making out on the couch._

_I vow to you, Marissa, that I shall never leave you again. I sure do remember that day, when I was going on that trip. Lucky I didn't, hey? My life would have been ruined. But you know what? What I said was true. Our future is together, no matter where we are. Always remember that._

_Wow, we have known each other for almost 4 years now. Its gone fast, hey? Things have certainly changed. I have gone from a chino-going-car-stealing juvenile delinquent to a guy who's almost about to enter college. And you, boy. But it's a comfort to know that we came through it in the end. When we are old and wrinkly, we will look back on these years and feel blessed. And so will your sister. She's a splitting image of you now, you know. She needed a lift the other day, so I picked her up. She came out in a little dress, the same one you wore on the day of your Mothers yacht party for the children's ward. She looked pretty, but was in no comparison to you in it, of course._

_Come back to me. I miss you so much. Don't worry, I shall be there when you land off the plane. I'll always be here._

_Love Always,_

_Ryan._


	3. flowing strong and free

Slowly, Newport Beach came into view over the horizon. Marissa leant forward in her seat, trying to spy familiar views from her isle side position out the plane's window. She had barely been able to eat anything throughout the trip, only nibbling on a few biscuits. The blonde was jittery in her seat, jerking at the slightest touch. When the flight attendant asked her is she wanted some drinks, Marissa almost hit the roof. They must all think she was crazy! Yet, it was obvious by the look in her eye that she was merely in love.

Marissa held on tight as the plane slowly touched down on to the airports landing strip. This was the day she had been waiting for, for practically 12 months. Butterflies bounced around in her tummy as if it were mid spring. She was tense, and on edge. Would he have come? Surely he must have seen other girls. Everyone knew that Ryan was one of the best looking guys Newport had ever hosted. Whenever they walked down the street, other girls constantly gave her envious looks as his arm slid round her shoulders. And sometimes she, too, was amazed. But he had loved her and hopefully, still did. Who knows what she would do if he didn't. Holy, Marissa tried to block those thoughts out. He must, for she needed him.

The next few minutes seemed to go in slow motion. The seatbelt sign flicked off, everyone slowly got up from their seats. Marissa hung back, breathing heavily in anticipation. She almost didn't want to go out there, expecting the worst. Pretty soon the aircraft was empty and she was the only one left. Slowly getting to her feet, Marissa walked down the isle. The hot summer wind almost knocked her flat with humidity as she strode down the stairs. Across the pavement the tall, lanky girl went. She clutched a handbag below one arm, with her dress flowing around her non-existent hips. Never the less, as always she looked absolutely stunning. As Summer had said once before 'You could wear rags and you would still look gorgeous'. But Marissa was still insecure, conscious of all her faults. No one else saw them though, only pure beauty. And that would be because she was. Many would say that she was the most fine featured girl that they had ever seen, including Ryan.

There he was, standing at the gates. He smiled, arms outstretched. This was the moment that they had both been waiting for. Yet, now it was here, they were both nervous as hell, scared of each others feelings. Breaking into a run, Marissa leaped into his strong arms. Tears began to well and fall, though caused by happiness not sorrow. They had finally been reunited. Ryan wrapped his arms around her lithe frame, never wanting to let go. Boy, he had waited so long. For the last few nights he had barely slept in fear of waking up and finding out that it was all a dream, that she wasn't really coming back. But of course, that morning he awoke to find out that his love was back that day. Rubbing his cheek in her sweet smelling hair, he drew in her scent that he had longed for, for so long. The air was electric, but neither dared to say anything. They just stood in silence, enjoying each others company.

'I missed you', Marissa finally said quietly into his shoulder. Her hands had glided up so they were resting on each side of his neck. Staring gently into his icy blue eyes, she smiled shyly.

'You have no idea, Marissa, none at all', Ryan replied. Oh, how much he wanted to kiss her. But he restrained himself, just. Making a suggestion to collect her bags, he led her off into the terminal. Their hands brushed as they walked along, fingertips touching as they swayed. It was a weird moment. Both of them wanted each other, though didn't dare let their feeling out. It was totally pointless and was killing them. Someone just had to make the first move. But with the run that those two had had, it wasn't likely that it was going to be made any time soon. It was as if the act was criminal, even. Sneaking glances at Ryan, Marissa could feel her heart yearning for him. And no doubt that he was feeling exactly the same way. Suppose they could go on for eternity just waiting for the other to express their feelings.

'This one's mine', she said, pointing to the pink and red striped suitcase in front of them.

'I bet it is! And here I thought you would come back all tough and manly.'

Marissa pulled a face, before breaking into hysterics. God, he had a way to make her laugh. Though usually Ryan was the 'broody' type with everyone else, but in her presence he shined. Grabbing her round the waist, he lifted both Marissa and her suitcase out of the airport and to the car. She put up a pathetically weak fight against him so it was no trouble at all. Actually, she quite enjoyed being in his arms again. Smiling playfully, she poked him on the arm as he slid into the driver's seat.

'Can I drive?'

'No'

'Please?'

'Not this baby, get your own car'

'But I'm a great driver'

'Compared to Seth, sure you are'

So, the mock fight carried on for a few minutes or so until Ryan reluctantly gave her the keys. Reversing out, Marissa narrowly missed a car coming round a corner. Slamming on the brakes, the two were lucky to still be in one piece. After the initial shock, they both started to laugh a little.

'Well, I have been on a boat for a year.' she reasoned, parking the car again for good measure.

'And don't I know it', Ryan mumbled. He ignored her gaze, trying to disguise his feelings that had been dormant for so long. But the hurt was obvious in his eyes, burning like a fire in his soul. It was painful, to see him in such a way. Placing a hand on his cheek, she turned his face so it was focused on her. Both had to fight the urge to lean forward and relieve the pain. But something in side both of them caused them to hold back. Perhaps it was because neither of them believed that the other still belonged to them. But, in reality they both knew that they would always be connected.

'It's ok now, I'm back now. And, I'm not leaving any time soon.'

As if totally avoiding the subject, Ryan changed directions completely. Hopping out of the car, he once again tackled with her over the car keys, resulting in Marissa in a laughing fit in the passenger's seat. Starting the car, they headed off, back into the life that they had once loved so dearly. But that was a long time ago; would things still be the same? Highly doubt it. But it was spring break, so anything could happen.

Pulling up to the now Mr Roberts and Mrs Cooper-Roberts house, the car fell silent. Neither knew what to say to each other. It had been so long since they had had a I-love-you-but-can't-tell-you moment, so suppose the stops had been put in place. Marissa sighed, staring up at the beautiful mansion before her. This house was so majestic, so sacred. Before her trip, it was just another home. But now…let's just say she didn't take anything for granted. A year of peeling potatoes, hand washing clothes and doing the dishes every night had defiantly changed her look on life.

Her mother and Dr. Roberts were away the weekend, again. Marissa had ringed her a few days before, when she had gotten in range for her mobile to work. Se had to admit; though she loved her mother she was kind of glad that she had the house to herself for a while. She just needed some time to settle down and get back into a routine. But that wasn't to say that she wanted to be totally alone.

'Do you wanna come in?' she asked him nervously, expecting him to decline.

'Uh sure.' he replied. Secretly, he had been yearning to spend more time with her away from everyone else. They all made it more complicated, harder to deal with the fact that they weren't together.

They both stepped out of the car, as an awkward silence swept over them. Ryan grabbed her suitcase from the boot and headed toward the house with Marissa by his side. Her hair, still as long as before, fell beautifully around her shoulders. The dress, short but tasteful, showed off her best assets that pretty much made her irresistible. Yet somehow, she managed to be so insecure. She compared herself to other girls and felt that she was the one with all the faults. When she was with Ryan, however, he made her feel special. Like she was the only girl meant for him. And, that's exactly how he felt about her. Together or not, fighting or friends, there was always going to be an attraction, a connection between them.

Fumbling with the keys that she had retrieved from under the mat, she eventually opened the door to an immaculately kept house. She had to admit, her mother certainly had a way with décor. Though, with the odd tank top or CD lying around it was obvious that Kaitlin had made herself at home the last year. Walking inside, she heaved a sigh. Well, she was defiantly back at Newport now. Ryan carefully placed her suitcase down and walked to her side. There was no other place that he wanted to be other than beside her. After all, this was where he felt most at home. She had cast a spell over him that could never ever be lifted again.

'Oh', she said brightly, turning to face him, 'I brought you a present!'

Ryan let out a mock groan, but willingly accepted the package after she had retrieved it from the masses of clothes that she failed to fold when she packed. Carefully, he pulled the ribbon undone and pulled away the paper. Inside, was a perfectly carved miniature yacht. He had once said to her that one day, he would buy them a big one that they would sail around the world in., all alone. That was to be his gift to her, to get her away from all the pain that this place caused her over the years.

Holding it in his hands, Ryan ran his fingers along the side of the finely painted wood. He was speechless. It wasn't the yacht that caused it though, but the fact that she remembered what he had said such a long time ago. And, the realisation finally hit him. He had to have her back. The fact was that he couldn't honestly survive without her, couldn't live without her. Never before had he longed so much for her touch. They had gone too long without each other. Now, it was time for the two to be reunited once again.

'Marissa, I love you', he said huskily, taking a step closer to her.

Taking one arm, he wrapped it around her waist and pulled her lithe body close to his. Their mouths found each other like old friends and the two kissed deeply, passionately like it was the last chance they would ever have. Marissa was caught a bit aback, but didn't force him off. This was what she wanted, more than ever. Running one hand through his hair, she felt his hands caress her body. Here, was where she felt safe. Marissa let her hands drift down to either sides of his neck and let them rest there.

Ryan picked her up, with their lips still connected. He tactfully managed to carry her, kiss her and walk up the stairs at the same time. Though, she didn't carry much weight at all so it wasn't much of an issue. Finding his way to her room, he let her down gently on to the queen sized bed. She pulled him down on top of her, hands underneath his wife-beater. Ryan pulled it off, revealing a soft but toned body. His fingers gently pulled down the straps of her dress, undoing the buttons and taking it off. She felt a happy shiver go down her spine at the feel of his hands against her bare stomach. Her hands pulled him down to a point where Ryan was basically so close that he was laying on her. Their skin rubbed against each other as she unhooked her pink bra. Ryan, energetic but loving, stopped for a moment to look her in the eyes and said,

'Are you sure, Marissa?' was all he could get out before she pulled his mouth back to hers.

The lanky girl undid his belt, pulling it out. It was like she was a pro, now. She undid the buttons on his pants and slid them off. He, in turn, gently pulled down her underwear and ran his fingers gently across her lower stomach. Marissa giggled into his shoulder, and it didn't take her long to rip off his boxers. Nibbling at her neck, Ryan slowly let himself into her temple.

The duo lay asleep; Marissa snuggled in the warmth of Ryan's arms. He held her firmly, despite his dreamlike state. They had a smooth blanket tossed across their bare bodies, though it made no difference as no one was coming home. Marissa rubbed her cheek against his chest, causing him to stir. Blurrily, Ryan looked down at the one he loved. She looked almost angelic, her hair still perfect and skin unblemished. One of her hands was rested on his own, as if griping for him in her dream. His heart was aching to kiss her sweet mouth, to hold her closer. Bending his head down, he leant his lips against her forehead and let them rest there for a while. Marissa, sensitive to the touch, let her eyes flutter open. Looking at Ryan, she smiled groggily.

'Hey', he whispered tenderly, stroking her cheek.

'Hello', she replied equally as quiet.

Moving down more in the bed, Ryan pulled her closer and she failed object. He inhaled the sweet scent of her hair, letting it ferment under his nose. Tilting her head slightly, she gave his a sweet morning kiss.

'I love you too', the girl stated whole-heartedly. Ryan, filled with joy, returned her kiss as a sign that things were only going to get better.


End file.
